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Avril Brown Presents:


Welcome back, gentle viewers, to the conclusion of the first annual Miss Marvel competition!

When we last saw our contestants, we were given a brief history of their powers and they were given a harsh critique of their superhero outfit by our panel of judges. In this final round the judges will ask our lucky ladies two questions in an effort to find the one woman who will best serve as the new Miss Marvel!

One question will be the same for all contestants, and the other question will be specifically targeted for that particular contestant and will be at the discretion of the experienced judge posing the query. Now, without further ado, let us begin the most grueling and intense test our super ladies have yet to face: the Interview Inquiries!

Amazing Spider-Woman
Stan Lee – With all due respect, admittedly Spider-Man is the more famous arachnid superhero. If crowned as the first Miss Marvel, what would you do to distance yourself from the more prevalent Peter Parker?
Amazing Spider-Woman¬ – You mean aside from pointing out the obvious fact that he’s a man, our powers are different and my costume is prettier? Easy. Signage is simple when you can stick to walls. I’ll put up inspirational posters all around the major cities, giving messages of strength and hope to all the aspiring female superheroes out there, encouraging them to follow their dreams. These larger than life posters will of course come complete with an attractive picture of yours truly.
Stan Lee – Interesting plan. So which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Amazing Spider-Woman – I’d have to say the diversity of my powers. I can more than hold my own in battle, but I also have an easy way to escape tricky situations. I can’t be poisoned which makes it easier for me to survive interrogation and I have super concentrated pheromones which can come in handy when being held hostage by a bunch of men with no social life. Not to mention I have brains to go with my beauty and brawn!

Scarlet Witch – You kill people. Now I’m not judging you or anything…well, I guess technically I am judging you. I should say I’m not condemning you, ‘cause I’m totally one to talk, right? But I have to ask: how does being an assassin make you the best choice for the first Miss Marvel?
Elektra – So I’ve offed a bunch of lesser ninjas, big deal! Just ask anyone who’s life I saved because I took the time to execute a bunch of evil killers with no moral compass. It’s not like I run around with my sais all willy-nilly, stabbing everyone I meet. I have scruples, which would certainly aid me in my duties as Miss Marvel.
Scarlet Witch – Duly noted. In your opinion, which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Elektra – My tenacity. When I want something, I get it. I apply myself until the job is done, and even then I keep a close watch on the finished project. I’ve died and been resurrected, I’ve been brainwashed and controlled by nefarious organizations; hell, I’ve even dated a lawyer. Hard work and perseverance are key, and I can apply that to being a successful Miss Marvel.

Invisible Woman
Dr. Doom – You are the she-slave of my sworn enemy and are not worthy of Doom’s condescension. But Doom must confess your marriage troubles with my nemesis have not escaped Doom’s expansive attention. If chosen as the next Miss Marvel, how do you feel this will affect your ability to reign effectively?
Invisible Woman – While my marriage troubles are none of your goddamn business, I will say that the difficulties Reed and I had recently helped me grow as an individual. That incident proved we can disagree on a major point of contention, spend some time apart, and still find our way back to each other. Compromise and the willingness to listen are qualities to be valued in Miss Marvel.
Dr. Doom¬ – Which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Invisible Woman – My ability to balance several different aspects of life. Being a wife, mother and full time superhero can take its toll, but look, no stress wrinkles! I’m an experienced multi-tasker, and that’s what being Miss Marvel is all about.

Ms. Marvel
Stan Lee – If crowned in this competition, what would your first act be as the new Miss Marvel?
Ms. Marvel – Get out of bed like I normally do? Ha ha! No seriously, I understand the responsibilities of Miss Marvel extend beyond a simple moniker. Just because I already go by the title Ms. Marvel doesn’t mean I should automatically be handed the crown. The fact that I’m super strong, a long-standing member of the Avengers, and a blonde mean I should automatically be handed the crown. And my first act as the reigning Miss Marvel would be to clean up the streets of the Marvel Universe, starting with that pretentious heap of scrap metal, Dr. Doom. No one calls me a whore and gets away with it.
Dr. Doom – Doom wishes the platinum prostitute to bring it!
Stan Lee – Victor, please. In conclusion, Ms. Danvers, which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Ms. Marvel – I have to say my strength, and not just the super kind. I’ve been all around the world, the galaxy, and the universe. I’ve been at the top of my game and at the bottom of the barrel. I’ve experienced so much and I’m still here fighting, and I want a chance to show the world that even when you’ve hit rock bottom, you can still claw your way back to the top.

Dr. Doom – The blue-skinned hussy and Doom have something in common: within both of us lies the heart of a villain. Can a black-hearted criminal make an effective and idealistic Miss Marvel?
Mystique – I think having someone who’s as fluid as I am take the mantle of Miss Marvel would be an excellent choice. The world is in constant flux and so, therefore, are the things in it, including the duties and responsibility of Miss Marvel. Who can understand continuous change better than a shape-shifter?
Dr. Doom¬ – Which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Mystique – My ability to survive and escape. I’m older than people think, and I have more identities around the world than anyone living will ever know. I do whatever it takes to succeed in my ventures. I’ll go places where others will not to achieve my goals, making me the superior choice to assume the mantle of Miss Marvel.

Scarlet Witch – We both have existed in separate realities. When you’re a hot chick with god-like powers, you kind of have to in order to stay sane (or so I’m told). How do you feel the time spent with the cosmic entity known as the Phoenix Force has helped prepare you for the role of Miss Marvel?
Phoenix – Sharing a body and I daresay a soul with an all-powerful creature like the Phoenix Force cannot really be quantified. It’s humbling and tempting and terrifying and exhausting…everything I’m sure reigning as Miss Marvel will be! Between the Phoenix Force and I, worlds have been destroyed. Living (and dying) through something like that teaches you a lot about control and maintaining focus.
Scarlet Witch – Which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Phoenix – The time I’ve spent dead. Seeing both sides of life and death gives me a broader perspective of what’s really important in the Marvel Universe, not to mention a passionate love for life. I try to make every moment count because I never know when I’ll be six feet under again, and I’ll bring that positive attitude to Miss Marvel.

Scarlet Witch – You’ve been through more than your average superhero, haven’t you Betsy? You’re British, you’re Asian, you’re dead, you’re alive, eyes ripped out, tattooed, not tattooed, powers, no powers…
Psylocke – Sounds totally ridiculous when you put it like that.
Scarlet Witch – My point being, you’ve gone through so many changes, do you really feel you can handle the changes that come with being Miss Marvel?
Psylocke – I’ve been through everything you listed above and more, and you think I can’t handle being a beauty queen? Now I know there’s more to being Miss Marvel than smiling and waving, but I was a super model before I became a super hero, so I understand the pressure of always looking and acting perfect. Couple that with my experience in battle and it’s hard to imagine someone else wearing the crown as well as I could.
Scarlet Witch – Which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Psylocke – I have to say my diverse cultural background. I was born as a British woman, but now my consciousness occupies an Asian body. I can help bring the gap between the East and the West without even trying. My performances are almost always perfect, be they on the dance floor of a fancy charity event, or squaring off in a fighting arena with expertly trained ninjas. It hasn’t been easy being me, but I manage to do it with a flair, and I could bring that flair to the image of Miss Marvel.

Stan Lee – You’re a bad girl gone good. Tell me, how does your criminal past affect your current view of right and wrong, and do you feel it helps or hinders your chance at the crown?
Rogue – I believe my past helps me be the best heroine I can be, and can also help me be the best Miss Marvel I can be. My checkered past is proof that I’m human and I can make mistakes just like everyone else. I fight for good not just to earn my penance for past misdeeds, but because I’ve seen both sides of this endless battle, and I prefer the side of the angels.
Stan Lee¬ – Which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Rogue – Surprisingly, I have to say my powers. With dangerous and destructive abilities like mine, it’s important to always be aware of myself and those around me. Being in a state of constant awareness for most of my life has taught me many vital lessons, and during my reign as Miss Marvel I’ll use those lessons to help the less fortunate; those who feel trapped within themselves. I want to help bring freedom to those who feel locked in an invisible cage.

Stan Lee – Your fellow green cousin is known for making, or should we say smashing headlines. How do you think this might affect your reign, were you crowned Miss Marvel?
She-Hulk – Being Miss Marvel is about the changes I could make in the Marvel Universe, not about what my cousin does or does not do in his spare time. I’m hoping to use the publicity that comes with being Miss Marvel to draw more attention to the ill-fated people who were affected by radiation in a decidedly less cool way then turning green and strong. I believe in equal rights for raddies!
Stan Lee¬ – Which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
She-Hulk – My greenness by far is my most powerful asset right now. Everyone is going green, and I could help promote environmental awareness simply by being me! Imagine the changes that could arise in the Marvel Universe.

Dr. Doom – The beautiful goddess of the weather is already a crowned queen. Why burden that stunning head of white hair with yet another tiara? Does the magnificent Ororo have the time to commit herself to being Miss Marvel?
Storm – Being in tune to the Earth’s weather at all times means I’m constantly committed. I’m very much used to investing my time and effort in a variety of ways. Besides, if Wolverine can be a member of three different teams and run his own solo missions seemingly all at the same time, I think I can handle two crowns.
Dr. Doom – Which of your qualities, superhuman or otherwise, shows you to be the best choice for this year’s Miss Marvel?
Storm – My extensive background in multiple arenas. I’ve played goddess to an African savannah, I’ve been a thief in Cairo, I’ve been a part of the X-Men for years, and now I’m a member of the Fantastic Four in addition to being a wife and a queen. You can’t get a more diverse and successful resume than that.

So there you have it! The contestants have spoken, and now it’s up to the judges to make a final decision. This will undoubtedly be the most difficult and important decision our judges will ever have to make! The pressure must be unbearable. To know you hold the hopes and dreams of ten amazing ladies in your hands, it’s a wonder these judges don’t go mad!

Scarlet Witch – Um, standing right here?

The Marvel network apologizes and would like to rephrase that last statement. To know you hold the hopes and dreams of ten amazing ladies in your hands, it’s a wonder the judges who aren’t already mad don’t go mad!

Scarlet Witch – Thank you, much better.

Since the insane, reality-warping Witch is staring creepily over my shoulder, I guess that means our panel of judges has reached a decision! Stan Lee, if you please…

Stan Lee – After much consideration and difficult debating, we’ve reached our decision. And the very first super-lady to serve as the illustrious Miss Marvel is…


This stunning Southern Belle has spent time on both sides of the law, but she found her heart and soul fighting evil with the X-Men. One touch from this Mississippi mama and the bad guys are down, and even if they’re not, they will be soon when Rogue uses their own powers against them! Although they help make her a force to be reckoned with, her abilities are also her curse. With powers like hers, most people would just give up and cater to their darker impulses, but not this cool-haired cutie! Rogue keeps on fighting, even when it seems like there’s nothing to fight for. Some might look at her powers and her past and think that all she does it take, but we know that with her ever-loving heart and faith in what’s right, Rogue can give as much, if not more, in return. Congratulations, Rogue, you’re the new Miss Marvel! Hope you survive the experience!

Rogue – I just want to thank y’all for this honor! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I guarantee I’ll make it worthwhile. I promise to uphold the standards of the Marvel Universe and not to abuse my authority as Miss Marvel. Thank you for this chance to help even more people in a totally different way!

There she is, the very first Miss Marvel,
There she is, your fantastical ideal,
The dream of a few super-girls can come true
in the Marvel U,
For she may turn out to be the Queen of something new.

There she is, the very first Miss Marvel
There she is, your fantastical ideal
With so many powers she took the town by storm
With her all-Marvel face and form

And there she is
Flying through the air, she is
Fairest of the fair, she is
There she is – Miss Marvel!

Thank you all for tuning in to this historic event. We hope you enjoyed the Miss Marvel competition, and we thank those in the audience who cast their own votes on who should reign. All were read, considered and discarded equally! The Marvel Network thanks you again, and Miss Marvel, you have the honors:

Rogue/Miss Marvel – Make Mine Marvel!

Avril Brown

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