Ahhhhhh yes…the smell is in the air. Can’t you feel it; can’t you just sense it; the electricity, the anticipation? It’s that time of year again…CON SEASON!

It started out with a bang in New York and the NY Comic Con. (Sure you had a Wonder Con or something in there, but everyone was talking about NYCC.) Next comes a couple WizardWorlds and then the Grand Mamma-Jamma of them all: San Diego. This year will see me at a couple of these cons, doing what I do best: makin’ trouble. But as I’ve aged and mellowed over the years, I’m going to make some resolutions publicly, so that YOU, my readers, can hold me to them if you see me breaking them.

Should you see me run the risk of doing any of the following, you have my permission to intercede, tackle me to the ground if you have to, to keep me from making an ass of myself as I have in the past. To avoid such a happenstance, I must refrain from the following:

• I will not allow Brandon Jerwa to goad me into drinking myself into a stupor
• I will not violate the court order that Heidi McDonald has against me that says I must maintain a distance of at least 1000 feet.
• I will not play Paul Jenkins in pool.
  
• I will not meet Peter David in a pool.
  
• I won’t get into a shouting match with Joe Rybandt in a crowded restaurant over the merits of the Indiana Jones movies.
  
• I won’t give Matt Maxwell shit over his choice of tequila.
  
• I won’t keep confusing Saurav Mohapatra with M. Night Shyamalan.
  
• I won’t try to kidnap Ed Brubaker’s Eisner and hold it hostage for his porkpie hat.
  
• I won’t play the ‘got your nose’ game with Frank Miller. (That really pisses him off.)
  
• I won’t ride another alpaca onto the convention floor in an attempt to impress Jann Jones. (That really pisses the alpaca off.)

What I will do is:

• Look for deals on the dealer floor.
• Make new friends in Artists Alley.
• Discover new titles and talents.
• Grab as much free swag as I can.
• And (most importantly) have fun.

‘Cause you see, that’s what it’s all about, having fun. Get together with your buddies, meet your favorite creators, hook up with other fans and shoot the shit. Celebrate this wonderful medium that we all love and obsess over. Be good, but not too good.

Have fun. And I’ll see you out there on the convention floor.

E. Ruben Serrano is a writer/columnist/graphic designer who has had his share of mishaps at comic conventions and the like. He is still looking for the girl who had to endure hearing one of his friends yell ‘my brown friend wants to hump your boobies!’ while he was too drunk to do anything about it. Elliott’s really, REALLY sorry about that, and had nothing against your boobies, but would have thrown up on them anyway.

You can see Elliott do stuff while (mostly) sober on the Comic Culture Warrior You Tube Channel.