There’s only so much irony that I can take when it comes to my comic books and the current state of the Marvel Universe has put me over the edge.

For those comic book readers who don’t read Marvel books – and if sales figures are to be believed, you are in the minority – the current status quo is being referred to as the ‘Dark Reign’ where the Skrull invasion has resulted in a shift of power from the heroes to the villains and leaving Norman Osborne in charge.

Yeah, THAT Norman Osborne. The guy everyone knows as the ‘Green Goblin’ cuz’ even if you don’t read the Spiderman comic you sure as hell saw the movies.

Well, the comic book version of Spidey’s arch-nemesis is just as (if not more) mentally unbalanced and through a twist of capricious fate – or some would say plot contrivance – Osborne is the new head of H.A.M.M.E.R., the world security agency that replaced S.H.I.E.L.D. after Secret Invasion.

Uh…what?

I’ve said it before, but having Norman Osborne in charge of H.U.M.M.E.R. - I mean H.A.M.M.E.R. – makes about as much sense as putting John Hinckley in charge of the NSA. But yeah, I know, ‘it’s just comic books.’

And now, hot on the heels of that little plot development, Secret Invasion mastermind Brian Bendis has created the ‘Dark Avengers,’ recasting many of the classic Avengers characters with their villainous counterparts (i.e., Bullseye has been renamed ‘Hawkeye,’ Moonstone is now ‘Ms. Marvel’) and putting good ol’ Osborne in a suit of red, white and blue armor and calling him ‘The Iron Patriot.’

Urm. I think I threw up a bit in my mouth.

And now Osborne leads these ‘Dark Avengers’ in a top-selling title where they are currently battling Morganna Le Fay for the soul of Doctor Doom.

Yeah, I said ‘for’, as if Doom deserved somebody watching his back after all the stunts he’s pulled, including KILLING HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE and TURNING HER FLESH INTO A SUIT OF ARMOR!

So anyhoo…

Fanboys are just loving this new Dark Avengers title because they get to see ‘heroes’ doing all the things that heroes really shouldn’t do, like eviscerating their enemies and ripping the heads off of women.

What? You didn’t read that issue? Oh yeah, the Sentry totally tore Le Fay’s head off on a full-on ‘holy shit’ moment of a splash page. The book has done so well it’s into its 2nd printing already.

But I’ve ranted on that whole matter before and that’s not even the irony I’m talking about. Here’s what’s getting my goat and taking it for a walk…NORMAN OSBORNE KILLED GWEN STACY!

The man who committed one of the vilest murders in the history of the Marvel U has now been elevated to leading man – a ‘hero’ no less – in his own title.

AND FANBOYS ARE EATING THAT SHIT UP!

Where’s the outrage? Where’s the backlash? Am I the only one who finds the idea of an irreconcilable lunatic as the watchdog of the Marvel U to be utterly reprehensible?

Where did Osborne ever express remorse for what he did? When did he ever try to atone for his crimes? HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS SORT OF SHIT HAPPEN IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE!

It makes no sense. None whatsoever.

But I guess that’s the world we live in today. A world where heroes kill without conscience, where women continue to be objectified, where the villains of the past get a free pass for the crimes they’ve committed.

And no one seems to care.

To quote Will Farrell in ‘Zoolander’: IT’S LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!

WTF?

Elliott Serrano is a writer/columnist/graphic artist who loves Marvel Comics but is seriously considering turning in his Mighty Marvel Marching Society membership card. You can watch him rant – and eat Chinese food like an Avenger – when you visit his You Tube Channel or read his blog. 

E.R. Serrano

Visit CWR at Unsungheroes! 

|